In case it hasn’t become obvious since I started this blog, I have A LOT of insecurities. And, I mean A LOT.
There are many different things which trigger my anxiety or mental health. One of my anxiety triggers is people I care about not seeing my tweets.
In other words: When I make jokes about certain things on Twitter, if I don’t either get a like or a reply from the person I’ve tweeted it too, I have a bad habit of then deleting that tweet.
Now, I know all too well that people I tweet won’t see everything I tweet, people I’m a fan of getting thousands/millions of notifications and just haven’t seen what I’ve said.
However, my anxiety tells me I’ve done wrong. If I don’t get instant praise from the people I tweet, my anxiety tells me that they are upset by what I’ve said. My anxiety tells me I’ve annoyed them. My anxiety tells me they’ve muted me. My anxiety tells me they don’t care about me. My anxiety tells me they hate me.
Now, I know, hand on heart this isn’t true. Yes, some of these things my anxiety tells me may be true about the odd person but the truth is that that person probably doesn’t even think about the situation nearly as much as I am.
I don’t expect my friends to reply to me instantly, I’m aware that people get busy. I don’t expect people I’m a fan of to constantly acknowledge everything I say & give me constant gratitude, far from it.
What I’m getting at is, it’s good to learn to distance yourself from your anxiety. As soon as you can distance yourself, you can begin to then fight back.
When you distance yourself from anxiety, you can be rational & think “no anxiety, you are wrong, that isn’t the case.” When you distance yourself from anxiety, you can say “this proves why my anxiety is wrong, I’m not going to fall for it.”
Think of it this way: would you ever go up to someone & tell them that all the people they care about & trust hate them? Would you go up to people & tell them everything that’s wrong with them? Chances are you wouldn’t but if you do then you clearly are a horrible person.
What I’m trying to say is: treat your anxiety as someone else. Your anxiety IS NOT and WILL NOT define who you are as a person if you don’t allow it to.
When your anxiety tells you these things, fight back & tell it that they are a horrible person & that what they are saying is simply not true.
It may seem small, but the more I prove to my anxiety It’s wrong, the more I believe it. The more I put my anxiety in its place, the more I remain in control rather than letting it take control.
I’ve become much better at dealing with my anxiety recently & I barely ever delete my tweets anymore but we all have bad days & sometimes it gets to me. Just remember to keep proving the truth to your anxiety.
That doesn’t mean that social media doesn’t get to my head at times. Recently I’ve felt that familiar sensation of Twitter anxiety again & the lines between me & my anxiety have begun to blur. When it becomes blurry, that’s when it’s time to take a step back.
It’s okay to take time away from social media, the world isn’t going to end no matter how much it may feel like it.