Just going to be a short blog post today since have a lot of uni work I’ve been working on so I am tired.
According to google the definition of Opaque is: “not able to be seen through; not transparent.” I suppose this can be applied to life as well as objects. When I started high school, I was as open as open can be, one of my biggest struggles was seeing through other people’s bullshit – I simply couldn’t do it.
This put me in good stead to then have someone I care about and trusted to completely destroy me and rip me apart to the point I lost all sense of self worth. Since then I feel I began to realise that I gave too much of myself to other people so ended up not leaving enough love behind for myself. I ended up draining myself of all energy because I gave all that energy to other people, most of them didn’t even respect me or even deserve my love and kindness.
Nowadays, I can pretty much see through anyone’s pretentious crap which they call the truth. Although occasionally someone will creep up on me, I will give them my trust and then they will prove why I should not have given my trust to them in the first place.
Life can be Opaque, it can seen difficult at times to be able to see through things and I feel that this is a skill you acquire within life – you make mistakes, you grow and you start to see through the pretense that some people put up. Not everyone is genuine.
Opaque
I totally relate to this on so many levels. I was the same exact. Innocent opaque self. Never again.
LikeLike
Yep. Before I couldn’t see through shit so I ended up getting used by many until one day someone I trusted turned on me and completely destroyed me and my self love – since then I’ve been very careful when trusting people and nowadays more often than not I can see through people’s crap.
LikeLike