What do you see when you look at the world around you? Different people will see different things but one thing I have learned throughout my life is: Life is tough, Life can be painful and those people that promise they will always be there for you aren’t always telling the truth. Don’t promise me you’ll be there any time I need to talk or moan if you are just going to drop me as soon as things get tough!
Life can be painful. I was speaking with a friend recently about the fact that the nicest people tend to be the ones who get treated the worst and its completely true. She spoke of how people will spread lies about the nicest people and take advance of their good nature and its completely true.
Time and time again I have been treated like shit, and my problem is that I don’t like to let people go. If I have an understanding with someone on a specific topic that is close to my heart, I will hang onto that person way longer than I should despite the fact that they don’t value me as a friend.
A big example of this is last year at college. There were two girls I considered friends out my class. One of them constantly treated me like shit and pulled me down but I hung onto her because we connected over both having mental health issues. The other girl didn’t originally treat me like shit, but changed as soon as we started university and then began to treat me like shit. I hung onto her because I knew she hadn’t been like that before being friends with the other girl so I thought that she’d go back to how she used to be, it never happened.
I only cut both of these people out my life after listening to the advice of someone I now consider a good friend who has stuck by me and been my lifeline since leaving college. When I cut these girls out my life, the one who had always treated me like shit never even tried to contact me so clearly never valued my friendship.
The other girl claimed she didn’t notice for a whole month then when she contacted me saying she’d just noticed I had deleted her off Facebook, she told me about a personal issue she had going on and then said “I really need a friend right now.” Really? REALLY?
This girl ignored me, argued with me and told me to shut up for no reason on multiple occasions and she expects me to be there for her but not the other way around? Then when I don’t respond to her, she blocks me on Facebook? Friendship works both ways but some people don’t seem to understand that.
Other people have taken me for granted and just assumed I would always be there so they treated me like crap. What I’m trying to say is a lot of bad things happen in this world. Everyone has their own problems and a lot of the time you may not even know what that person has to go through. So why make their life anymore difficult than it has to be?
I have major trust issues. As I’ve said in previous blog posts: It often takes me a very long time before I can trust people, a lot longer than it takes most people. There are two exceptions to this. 1) A teacher I had in high school and 2) my boyfriend. Both of these people I felt completely comfortable around for the start but that said teacher is someone who ended up letting me down and hurting me.
The reason I have so many trust issues is because of other people, the people who have let me down when I’ve put all my trust in them and the people who have hurt me. As a result, I struggle to trust new people and it takes a long time before I can.
An example of this being through my three years at college. It wasn’t until my third and last year where I was fully able to trust my guidance lecturer.
What I say – When in life people hurt you, when people let you down or when bad things happen: take a step back, withdraw yourself slightly and allow yourself time to heal, time to move on. It won’t happen straight away but I feel it’s important to do this instead of rushing straight back into the next thing in life. Take a little time out, then you’ll come back stronger than ever.
How do you heal yourself from the world around you?