Posted in Anxiety/Mental Health/Stress Management, Thoughts

You Do You

So today is international happiness day. Yes, there is a day dedicated to being happy. What is happy, you ask? Well, happy is not having to put a fake smile on your face and pretend to be okay. Happiness is getting up in the morning and actually wanting to face the day instead of hiding under your bed sheets. Happiness is many things.

In this day and age it is becoming increasingly common to feel down/depressed. With the constant peer pressure to look or act a certain way, it isn’t a surprise that some people don’t get enough fulfilment out of their lives. Running around day in day out to conform to stereotypes or make others happy is one of the things which wear us down.

This is where I want to say, you do you! You are going to get more enjoyment and fulfilment out of life if you do what you want to do and what makes YOU happy! As long as you aren’t hurting people on purpose and acting with good intentions, then you won’t be criticised for this! We live in a world where it is becoming increasingly difficult to act yourself. The use of the internet makes the whole aspect of bullying worse with the many trolls you can find there.

In high school, you tend to get bullied or picked on for anything and everything that is unique about you. This is where we need to get the world to STOP bringing kids down from an early age. This bullying is causing the young generation of today to grow up feeling worthless. Children get that used to people saying negative things about them that they start trying to blend in with the crowd and start to harbour negative feelings against themselves. After all, we tend to be much harsher on ourselves than we are on other people. To change this we should encourage young school children to see the positive things about themselves and not to pick on others for their negative things. By doing this, I feel we can teach future generations to have more respect for themselves.

One thing I have learnt in the last few years is that if someone is bringing you down and having a constant negative effect on you then bin them. As difficult as it seems, it is much better for the both of you if you part ways. When I was leaving school, a girl I was friends with at the time started an argument with me and said some very hurtful things that upset me despite them not being true. A few months later, another argument occurred and this is where I decided that I would rather not be in someone’s life than to be in their life and arguments occurring often no matter who started it. As difficult as letting go is, once you have done it, life becomes slightly more positive and you feel lighter. You should surround yourself with positive people who bring you up instead of negative people who bring you down.

In life we strive to be happy but unfortunately we can’t be happy all the time. When it comes to career’s, some dream of being a teacher, some an astronaut, some the prime minster and others, something completely different. We go to school to learn, to progress in subjects we have a keen interest in and to discover what we want to do with our life afterwards. There is no unspoken rule to say that you have to decide what you want to do with your life before leaving school. There is heavy pressure within schools on students to study and know what want to do from an early age but what happens if you’re not ready to decide? Take your time finding out what you are interested in and then decide what you want to do with your life once you actually know, don’t rush it!

No matter what your career dream or goals are, make them realistic and something you actually want to do. Some people decide they are interested in a certain career because of money. Pursuing a particular career for the pay check you will receive is a big no. If you chase a job for the money, then you will never find happiness within your career. You will spend your life running around in circles searching for the next big thing with a half empty heart working in an area you don’t enjoy. Pick your career based on what you want to do and once you decide, work your butt off to make your dreams happen. This will allow you to create your own happiness and get the most from life.

Challenge yourself – Challenge is a great way to create your own happiness. Doing the same responsibilities at work day in day out may become boring and dull. By finding ways to challenge yourself, you can keep your life current and exciting. Last year for my college graded unit, I organised and carried out a sponsored abseil from scratch. Even though I had done charity event in the past before, this is something in which I had not previously done. It was a majorly nerve-wracking experience but it pushed me out of my comfort zone which allowed me to see what I could do and that near enough anything is possible. This year I am organising an even bigger event for my graded unit along with two other students. So far it has been a major challenge but I am enjoying it and know it will be worth it in the end. Challenging yourself allows you to push yourself and see what you are really capable of! You then gain happiness out of your achievements made.

Never be afraid to ask for help – Sometimes we all need a bit of help/support in our lives but it can be very difficult to actually ask for this help. If you need help or support, no matter how difficult it is to speak out, try and do it. You are not going to be judges for asking for help. In many situations, those close to you will even be proud of you admitting something is wrong. Many counsellors only need to pass on what you say if they feel you are at risk, so counselling can be easier sometimes than talking to someone you actually know. I myself have always found it difficult to admit when things are going wrong and actually ask for help. Recently I have begun trying to make the effort to talk about my problems and I can honestly say it was a good idea. Bottling up your feelings isn’t good for anyone, it only makes things hurt for longer than they need to. Talking to someone helps many to relieve themselves of the pain going on inside their brain. It could be a good idea to get a box and put inside any nice messages/comments you have received from others or any inspirational quotes you have read. This means that, when you are feeling down, you can revert to this box and read all these positive messages/quotes and be reminded how many people care and to keep fighting.

Having fun – Try to manage your work/life balance. Working too often can cause you to be stressed or down regularly. In school the often pressure received from teachers involve things like “if you don’t put in the work now, then you won’t make anything of yourself.” This is simply not true! You will not get doomed all because you didn’t study at school or failed your exams. This world is constantly changing and evolving and so are you! This means that you have a lifetime to focus on your career. Live in the moment and do what you can for today. Don’t take things for granted and live like there’s no tomorrow but don’t propel yourself so far forward that you are unprepared. If you need a gap year – take it. If you want to go travelling – do it. Do what you want to do in the current moment of your life. It’s all good and fine to have an amazing career, but you shouldn’t have to cut out your social life to do so! Go to see that movie with your friend. Go on that holiday you’ve been dreaming of. It is never too late to have a career!

If you struggle to find happiness then why not try getting a notebook and writing down something every day that makes you happy or makes life worth fighting for. Hopefully from there you can build your everyday happiness!

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